How does one "do college" correctly?

I hate change, and like most 18-year-olds you know, college is the most amount of change we have yet to experience up until this point. Knowing how much I hated change in my life, it was only natural I decided to attend a school almost 2,000 miles away from home. A school that only 1 other student from my high school would also be attending. Knowing absolutely no one, and being miles away from home would push me to start a much-needed new chapter of my life. 

I wish there was a handbook on how to "do college" the right way, unfortunately, there isn't one. It's been almost 3 months of me living on my own, making new friends, balancing my school and social life, as well as trying to keep in contact with my friends and family from back home. In short, it hasn't been easy, but it most definitely has been fun. After my quick three months here, here are 5 things I would put in my handbook on how to "do college" correctly: 

1. Be kind to everyone.

This may sound funny to some people, but in my eyes, this is THE thing to take away from my list. Making friends in college can certainly be more challenging to some, than to others. But being nice to everyone takes away that scary factor of knowing if someone is approachable or not. I have a horrible habit of "keeping to myself" when I'm in a public setting. Either wearing headphones, going on my phone when I'm by myself, or simply staying in my lane. It removes the possibility of having an awkward or unscripted conversation with someone you don't know. In reality, those conversations have been the BEST friendship starters for me so far. As someone who struggles with social anxiety, the more faces I recognize and feel comfortable with, the less my anxiety controls my day. 

  2. Call your mom and dad. 

Again, this may sound like a no-brainer, but in actuality, it's so easy to get caught up in college activities, that calling home every once in and while can slip your mind. The older I get, the more I realize my parents' knowledge is beyond my years of experience. Getting a second opinion on things from my parents is much more useful now that I'm miles away from home and don't have an adult figure in my physical day-to-day life.

  3. Make college everything your high school wasn't. 

My high school years were engulfed in school work, occasional weekend plans, and rotting away in my bedroom. I got little to no sleep, pushed my body to its physical max during sports practice, and put an intense amount of pressure on myself to be successful not only in school but in my personal life as well. I also spent the majority amount of my time depressed and struggling to wake up for school in the morning. I knew exactly what I wanted out of a college experience. So Arizona was an extremely well-thought-out choice for me. I wake up at a reasonable time for school, the sun is shining, and Greek life has given me all the social opportunities a freshman could only hope for. 

  4. BE YOU. 

Even though college is a fresh start, it's so important to start it off as yourself. Don't put on a fake persona or try to be something you're simply not. You won't attract the "right" friends and will end up feeling lonely anyway. It's time to grow up and recognize that who you are is fun, smart, kind, and beautiful. Stop spending your life trying to fit into a crowd or group of people who don't know the real you. 

  5. BOYS. 

Yes, boys. I know half of you are boy-crazy and let's be real, moving to a college town where they're crawling all over the place is exciting, especially after getting the heck out of whatever small town you came from. Where a guy either dated your best friend, was your childhood best friend, or maybe the guy was just plain weird. Like I've said, I've been here for 3 months and have already had my fair share of boy craze. But in all honesty, it's so important to let your freshman year be all about you, all about making new friends, and connections, and doing well for yourself. It's so easy to get negatively distracted by other people (boys). In the nicest way possible, boys will always be there, friends will not. Spend your time putting work into your newly developed friendships. Friendships are like plants. They need to be cared for A LOT in the beginning. They need water, sunlight, and plant food. If you can't offer those things, your plant (friendship) could die. (This is the worst-case scenario). Once you have a strong plant, it can be more independent. 

Right now these feel like the most important tips. I'm keeping this short and sweet in the hopes that I can help anyone else who is going through the same transition as me right now. 

Side note: If you haven't made friends, if you haven't found your group, maybe you haven't met a guy (or maybe you unfortunately have), remind yourself there is no way to "do college correctly". Just keep doing you, it will all fall into place :)

xoxo, 

Ella Hultquist